Marilyn Monroe in a 1955 photo by Eve Arnold
Henry Moret (France 1856-1913)
oil on canvas 74 x 60 cm
Calligraphy, 1864. Word composition with invocations of Allah, Mohammed, Fatimah et al. Turkey. © Photo: Ethnologisches Museum der Staatlichen Museen zu Berlin, Martin Franken
Acid attack survivors in India model new clothing range for powerful photoshoot
Survivors of acid attacks in India have become the face of a new clothing range designed by a woman who had acid thrown in her face while she was asleep four years ago.Delhi-based designer Rupa and her friends Rita, Sonam, Laxmi and Chanchal modelled the clothes from her new range, Rupa Designs, for photographer Rahul Saharan.
Rupa suffered extensive injuries when her stepmother threw acid in her face while she was sleeping in 2008.
She was allegedly left without any medical aid for six hours before her uncle found her and transported her to hospital, where she underwent eleven operations and spent three months being cared for.
It’s important that people see this
By Sarah Moon
July 8, 2013
Imagine you’re standing there, minding your own business, and all of a sudden someone steps on your foot. You don’t know if they’re doing it on accident or on purpose–all you know is, it hurts.
So, you tell the person standing on your foot, “Oww! Get off my foot!”
The person standing on your foot responds by stomping down even harder, saying, “I didn’t mean to stand on your foot. Why do you have to yell at me?” As they dig their heel further into your foot, they say, “I’d stop, but you were being so snarky about the fact that I’m standing on your foot that you’re pushing me to keep doing it.”
Eventually, you have had enough, and so you forcefully shove that person off your foot. “Why’d you do that?” you ask. They respond, “Well, you shoved me! You can’t complain because you’re just as bad!”
If this sounds like a ridiculous scenario, that’s because it is. But it happens to oppressed groups all the time.
Today, I was on Twitter and saw a Christian blogger talking about how Christian feminists are driving him to complementarianism, because of “how they come off.” He admitted that he knows patriarchy is awful and hurts women. But he asserted that feminists are “hurting their own cause” because they can’t respond with “civility” when others are uncivil to them.
He recognizes that systems of oppression hurt women, yet, because feminists aren’t being “nice” enough, he feels driven back to those systems of oppression. He knows he’s stepping on women’s feet, but they sound so angry when they ask him to get off that he thinks, hell, maybe I’ll dig in deeper.
I see this everywhere. I experience it often.
I’ll be hurting from oppression, or I’ll see others hurting from it, and we’ll speak out through frustration and pain, and someone will tell us that if we don’t “play nice” we’ll never get what we want.
How sadistically evil does that sound when you really stop and think about it? What are these people really saying?
“I’m perfectly capable of treating you as a human being, and I fully recognize how much you’re hurting, but I’m going to hurt you even more because I don’t like your tone.”
“You want power in this system. But before I give it to you, you’ve got to bow to my standards of tone, so I can remind you who’s really in charge.”
“If I’m oppressing you, it’s actually YOUR fault.”
You can give a person the benefit of the doubt, assume that their hurtful actions were unintentional. But once you’ve asked them to stop and their response is, “I hear you, but I’m going to keep doing this until you ask according to my standards,” the illusion dissolves.
You know this person truly wants to control people like you.
When privileged people tell oppressed groups “I would listen to you, but you aren’t being very nice” they are asserting their power in a subtle, but dangerous way. They are victim blaming. They are trying to hide the fact that when others have “asked nicely,” they just ignored them. When they tell you it is up to you to convince them to treat you like a human being, they are revealing that they never thought of you as human to begin with.
Remember, the privileged also set the standard for what “nice” is. People who fundamentally challenge their worldview in ways that they can’t just ignore will never meet it no matter how “nice” we are.
Some suggestions for improving your rage.
August 15, 2014
Please keep your rage polite and orderly.
Please make sure your rage stands in the queue and waits for its turn.
Please advise your rage to say “Excuse me” when interrupting others’ conversations, regardless of their topics. Do this even if on fire.
Please ensure your rage follows the dress code. Rage must be tidily dressed, & must say “sir” and “ma’am,” even if called “boy” or “girl.”
We would prefer that your rage be punctual and arrive neither too early nor too late.
Your rage should be constructive and look for solutions, rather than simply existing for itself.
Your rage can be something when it grows up.
Please make sure your rage is logical rather than emotional. Your rage will have a hard time if it is overly sensitive.
We would advise your rage that it should bring along a resume and/or CV with a timeline of proof.
If only your rage had had two parents. Think what it could have done!
Your rage should take the time to educate others about what has made it so inexplicably angry.
If your rage uses that word, why can’t I?
When your rage behaves like this, why is it surprised that others react badly to it? When we profile your rage we are reacting to the facts.
Rage should shave its beard and unwind its turban. Rage should smile at catcallers.
Your rage should speak English and ask for permission before crossing the border to flee a dangerous situation. Is your rage over 18?
We will process your rage eventually, but the meantime, it should wait in a small boat in the middle of the ocean.
Your rage should have known! We were only joking!
We’re so sorry, but your rage isn’t… This isn’t the right neighborhood for your rage. Your rage doesn’t really like this apartment.
We will give your rage back the house in which it has lived for generations after we have taken care of matters of national security.
Your rage should play its music at an acceptable volume.
If your rage expects handouts, we would prefer that it check with us before spending on frivolous items.
Your rage wasn’t even born there. Why does it care so much?
Your rage should be careful about its terms: terrorism, genocide, occupation, regime.
Doesn’t your rage know we were democratically elected?
How did your rage get so tired? Your rage should take a break. Doesn’t your rage ever just… relax? Take a load off?
This facility isn’t equipped to accommodate your rage’s body.
Would your rage mind refilling this drink? Does your rage work here?
No, we weren’t following your rage around this store…
Oh, goodness—was your rage standing there? Didn’t even see it!
We will be happy to talk to your rage when it is done sobbing.
Why didn’t your rage just call the police?
Your rage looks just like that other rage! Do they know each other?
Your rage should know we were doing our best to avoid civilian casualties.